Whenever the weather is dreary, the sky is cloudy, and the temperature is cool. I am reminded of moments, memories of my childhood. I am reminded of the routine of Saturdays in my childhood. The day would start with me waking up at around 7 o’clock. Then I would navigate over to my grandmother’s room and from there I would just talk to my grandmother for hours. She would pass unto me her wisdom. However, my grandmother would not lecture me. She was the only adult that I ever encountered that had conversations with me. I would share my perspective and she would listen and try to understand me. These morning conversations would continue until I was a well into my teenage years. Through these conversations, I learned to value conversation and learned to truly express myself with words.

That is just one of the many examples of the fond times I have had with my grandmother. My grandmother was a great combination of grace, wisdom, and moral fortitude. She spoiled me, as grandparents do, but she also gave me direction and advice as a parent would. If there were to be an archetype or model of what a motherly figure is, my grandmother would be that.

There is a distinct conversation that I remember vividly. This conversation was on Thanksgiving of my junior year in high school. My job was to interview both of my grandparents on their life and a brief look at their genealogy. I started with my grandmother because I know my grandpa was gonna have at minimum 3 hours of stories about being stationed in Okinawa, Japan. In this interview, I asked my grandmother about when she moved to California as 16-year-old, and what she remembered from living in San Francisco in the latter half of the 20th century. However, soon she unveiled to me massive amounts of wisdom. She listed 4 things that I should always do.  

1. Listen

My grandmother said the majority of the problems of the world would have been solved if people just listen. She said listening isn’t easy, especially when you have a lot to say but it is essential to having good relations. She said in the 60’s she loved the hippies she met in San Fran because they were loving people. The older generations did not listen to the hippies when their grievances were very valid. To her, this was a major example of how not listening makes problems worse.

2. Improve from the previous generation

My grandmother was born in a “shotgun” house in jim crow era Texas. She left Texas when she was 16 and worked as a nanny for an engineer at Lockheed Martin in Palo Alto, California. She was so proud of my parents because they ascended the ladder economically and I got to grow up in a nice suburban community. She stated that she used to work in houses similar to what I lived in. That made everything she worked for, worth it. To see prosperity in the succeeding generations, was the intended end goal. She concluded it should always be the end goal. We should always plant seeds so that our kids can have a tree to take shade under.

3. Travel

My grandmother said her traveling to California was so profound to her because she had always heard of places other than the South. She read books and magazines about it. However, she only really knew the south because she lived in the South. When she finally was in California, and sat in the front of the bus next to a white man, did she finally know what world without jim crow was like.

4. Never Stop Learning

She stressed this point the most. No matter what degree you have or how far you have gone in school, keep learning. She was a teacher, which explains her passion for learning. Seeing the lack of education provided to many African Americans in jim crow era south also furthered her belief in the necessity of education. Learning was the most important thing to her. She believed that learning was the backbone of growth and advancement in a person’s well being. She had a very extensive library with books ranging from self help books to encyclopedias. Even at times when she couldn’t leave her bed, she would have an informative pbs show on. Her passion for learning passed down the generations in that her kids and grandkids all value educations greatly.

This interview took me back and changed how I viewed so many things in life. It was supposed to be a quick interview but it ended up single handedly changing my life. What made her points more powerful is that she implemented all of them. She not only told us what to do but by looking at her life she showed us as well. I recorded this interview, however it was recorded on an old VCR camera and the tape is lost somewhere. The fact that I can’t find it eats me up on the inside. My mom really wanted that tape but I just couldn’t find it. I have never felt as guilty as I did then. Now all I have of this interview is the memory but it stays strong in my mind.

My grandmother was a woman of infinite wisdom. She is the definition of motherly. Her voice of reason, grace, and maturity will be heard in all who knew her. She would have turned 80 today. I know she is looking down, sitting in her chair, smiling at all the souls that she has made whole.
Miss you Granny